Dcn Brigid Waszczak

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ ” But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. —Jesus in Matthew 5:27-28

Dear sisters and brothers,

"I've looked on a lot of women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times. This is something God recognizes I will do—and God forgives me for it." —Jimmy Carter, 1976

Swift public reaction was shock and surprise at his candid remark. Carter lost political points because he was honest about his religious beliefs. Part of that drop in esteem can be attributed to the public’s loss of trust in Carter. Trust, after all, is at the heart of adultery. It’s betrayal.

We’ve all experienced betrayals big and small: disclosures of confidential information, disloyalty, dishonesty. Society judges us harshly and so we hide our betrayals: addictions to drugs, alcohol, shopping, gambling, food, porn; talking behind someone’s back; lying about ourselves and friends, family, or employers, and about our actions; not standing up for others—knowing the truth but refusing to come forward; bullying, gaslighting, angry outbursts and verbal/emotional abuse; being emotionally unavailable to a partner. All of these are a violation of trust and a form of adultery—deliberately going outside the covenants and agreements we make with others.

Not only do our breaches of trust damage our human relationships, they also violate our relationship with God. While we trust God to forgive us our transgressions, do we realize God trusts us and our behavior? The more often we betray God’s trust, the farther from God we’re driven.

Restoring trust (with others or God) begins with humility. Society, however, doesn’t value humility. But reconciliation starts with humility, admitting our breaches of trust.

Most of us would prefer to live by the narrow interpretation of the 7th commandment. Accepting the wider understanding that includes betrayals of all kinds convicts our hearts! Such an understanding requires honesty and humility from us.

Carter’s comment reflected honesty, humility, and self-understanding. Are we that brave?

May we all live into courage.

—Dcn Brigid