Mtr Mary Trainor

When the Captains and the Kings depart…*

Dear friend,

I learned these words from my mother. She would use them every time there was a big funeral, for which family and friends would gather from near and far. When the mourners began to disperse, she would say, “When the Captains and the Kings depart…”

When I attend a funeral now, I think of the implication of her words (actually Kipling’s words). All of the out-of-towners. All of the working folks. All of the students. Even the next-door neighbor.They return to routine, leaving the home front to deal with its staggering loss—alone.

For our families, friends, and neighbors, and for those who are alone.**

Every Sunday in the Easter season, we say the words above as our part of the Prayers of the People. No one is named, but I inevitably translate the words into faces of people I love.

This past weekend, I made a turnaround trip to Southern California, where I gave the homily at the funeral of a former parishioner. A friend, actually, in the five years since I retired from there.

When the Captains and the Kings depart…

This time, I was among those departing quickly, The Captains and the Kings, if you will permit. I was flying away from a heap of grief, loss, realigning relationships, into the bright Arizona sunshine, as though no one anywhere had a care in the world.

But that’s not true, of course. Here is what’s true (maybe for you, too):

Someone is still grieving today. And maybe for a long time. Maybe past the point when I think they should be over “that,” as I hastily move on with my “normal” schedule.

What’s to be done? At the very least I can pray: For our families, friends, and neighbors, and for those who are alone. 

Mtr Mary

* Recessional, Rudyard Kipling
** Prayers of the People, Form VI, The Book of Common Prayer