Reflections on “Beholding”

From the Chapel of the Holy Cross, taken by Alex when he and Jess went on a camping trip in Sedona during retreat week.

Alex Swain, 2019-2020 Corps Member

Last month I wrote about my experience of relaxing into the presence of God and all the wonders that come from that. Now, however, I hope to write a bit about my experience of beholding God. I first began thinking about this term on a day of spiritual formation that was lead by Shirin McCarthur, wherein we read a bit of Richard Rohr and participated in practices of beholding the created world around us. So. What I hope to reflect on here is what it has been like to behold the presence of God in God’s creation, in moments of stillness and in moments of the hullaballoo of everyday life. The event that spurned me to write on this topic was, while biking back from Church to our home, a very small lizard was skittering past me on the hot ground, keeping pace with my on my bike for a ways. And I thought it beautiful and wonderful and wild to see, in that moment, that little lizard racing alongside me, two very different creatures but all the same created by God. 

So what does it mean “to behold”?

We discussed it a bit on that day of spiritual formation as possessing many characteristics. Beholding is used as a way of God to say, “Look! Pay attention!” Indeed, the language of beholding is found throughout Genesis. As God creates the world, Genesis 1:29 reads, “And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit; you shall have them for food.” And again, Genesis 1:31, “And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, a sixth day.” When in Holy Scripture, God says, “Behold,” it draws to mind God saying look at this great and awesome thing that I am doing. It is God calling me from the insular depths of my mind to attend, to revel, to stand in awe at the sheet moment I am experiencing. 

Beholding is to see that skittering lizard and say, “Thanks be to God!”

Beholding also brings to bear the reality of evil in this world. Scripture uses beholding language frequently. God demands attention to the evils of the world as in Genesis 6:12, which reads, “And God saw the earth, and behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted their way upon the earth.” And in Numbers 32:14 we read, “And behold, you have risen in your father’s stead a brood of sinful men, to increase still more the fierce anger of the LORD against Israel!” In other words, beholding also means to see the evil that we participate in as well as the good that flows from God.

Behold the way that we, as a species, consume our world and its finite resources. Behold how, as I purchase my groceries, I am likely participating in a system that exploits thousands of persons. Behold how I shy away from the person asking for money, when I am commanded by God to give to those in need, those made in the image of God. Behold the terror of the human species, bent and ravaging, hungry yet always eating, thirsty yet always drinking. The corporate sins we all participate in is demanded to be accounted for by God. Amos 9:8 reads, “’Behold, the eyes of the Lord GOD are upon the sinful kingdom, and I will destroy it from the surface of the ground; except that I will not utterly destroy the house of Jacob,’ says the LORD.”

Beholding the grace and power and love of God and the goodness of the world seemed to cause scales to fall from my eyes. While beauty and grace were all the more illuminated, so too were their contrasts.

And this, then, gets me to my next focus of beholding. Beholding the Eucharist. That meal by which I am reminded that in the depths of mire and tragedy and sin, God interrupts, if even for a moment, our bent-ness. We are proclaimed and reminded that we are forgiven and made whole in God by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. As Matthew 9:2 reads, “And behold, they brought to him a paralytic, lying on his bed; and when Jesus saw their faith he said to the paralytic, “Take heart, my son; your sins are forgiven.” We are not unlike the paralytic. God comes upon the bread and the wine and our Lord Jesus, the one who washed and washes away the sins of the world, and we are given grace in this Holy meal. I am learning ever more to behold the mystery of the Holy Eucharist with greater love and thankfulness.

To behold is to be drawn out, to have one’s vision and motion and very being commanded to look upon something. To pay attention to the beauty and goodness of the world, as well as the tragedy and sin that mires the world. It is to attend God and God’s grace interrupting our daily clattering in Holy Communion. Thanks be to God!

Alex has also started a blog about his experience here that you may be interested in following: https://beholdingthedesert.com